• Veruschka Haas

Profound Remembrances

It is near impossible to forget the habits and peculiarities of a person whom you have once loved. At times, it might seem like you have forgotten the exact way they walk––with a slight bounce in their step, their arms swinging with the movement. Their distinct and unique smell will no longer be easily conjured up in your mind. You will not be able to pretend that you have your face buried in their neck, taking in the smell of their hair whenever you suffer from an intense longing for that person’s familiarity.

And then you will see someone on a street or have a stranger pass you and your eye will catch an aspect of their bearing or physique; the slightest hint of mint will drift towards your nostrils and suddenly the memory will be so present in your mind that it will feel like a punch into your gut and you will gasp for air.

Some of these things you may have memorised on purpose, your finger having traced their collarbones during lazy mornings in bed, the exact lines of them having become so familiar to you that you could draw it in your sleep––even now. Other things you have learned and saved in an unconscious file about them in a corner of your mind, the flavour of their lips whenever you kissed them, their mouth on yours being unlike anything you have ever tasted––neither before that first savouring nor since the last.

You may forget everything that you have learned from a book just a week ago and small details and memories of your own life and self quickly vanish into oblivion; but these lessons that you have learned about the person you once loved will stay with you forever, waiting to be lured from the depths of your unconscious so that they can leave you with the most profound sense of loss.